Tuesday, August 11, 2009

A Close Call

I had a close call yesterday. It was scary and I just have to tell you all about it.

My day started out simple enough, until lunch rolled around. I had a decent salad and was eager to enjoy an ice cream bar (caramel, nuts, chocolate... so good) but when I opened the freezer to grab one- they were all gone. Now, I must tell you I have lunch at work and the above referenced freezer is at my office in the break room. I was so upset that they were gone... and no one knew who ate them. Pretty fishy if you ask me.

The rest of the afternoon I could hardly focus on my work. All I could think about was ice cream. So I decided as soon as 4:30 rolled around I would be working that out!

Once I got off work- I purchased an ice cream sundae, complete with fudge, and headed over to Ryan's.

I arrived at Ryan's and noticed that he hadn't gotten home from work yet. I sat in my car for a minute just enjoying the moment- relishing in the happiness that the ice cream sundae was bringing me.

This where is gets interesting...

After a few minutes, I hopped out of the car and noticed an ant bed that appeared, seemingly, overnight. I made a mental note to tell Ryan to work that out with some poison and continued on my way into the house.

It's important to note, for the sake of the story, in the front yard at Ryan's there are a few cross ties. In order to enter the front walkway one must step down the cross ties. The ant bed had been created on said cross ties. So I had to jump over the ant bed, which in turn meant I jumped over the cross ties to the ground below- That make sense? Still with me?

Once I jumped over the ant bed and cross ties to the ground below, I noticed something two inches from my foot. I thought to myself: Now where in the world did that black rope come from? So weird. What is it doing here? And just like that the rope moved!!!

It was no rope- IT WAS A SNAKE and my foot was a mere two inches from it!!!

I would love to say at this point. I calmly leaned down, Steve Irwin style (god rest his soul), and picked up the little booger (in an Australian accent) in order to move him to a safer place where I could release him.

But the truth is I FREAKED OUT! I screamed as loud as I could and ran. Ran like my life depended on it. Made it to the door and, in all my panic, couldn't figure out which key unlocked it. So I screamed some more. I finally made it inside. My heart was racing. My hands were shaking. So I did what any normal person would do... I stripped down and made sure the snake wasn't on me. {In hindsight, this is pretty ridiculous-but I have a fear of snakes like you couldn't believe}

Next, I tried to call Ryan. Straight to voicemail. I tried again. Still nothing. So I sat down and the emotions took over. I had almost gotten bite by a snake that may or may not have been the most venomous snake this side of the Mississippi. I had no idea because I don't know my snakes very well. I just knew that I almost landed right on top of one. So I cried and thanked the good lord for bringing my through this scary incident virtually unscathed, sans the emotional damage.

My feelings then turned from "grateful to be alive" to "if this grass had been cut then this may not have happened..." so I sent Ryan a text message that read:

"RYAN... I almost stepped on a damn SNAKE in your yard right by the cross ties... Totally freaked me out. Now I'm trapped inside by that thing. You ARE cutting the grass and getting this yard in order this week! To say I'm overwhelmed right now is an UNDERSTATEMENT!"

As soon as Ryan got my text he called me. He was tickled and told me he'd be there to save me momentarily. I think he thought it was all quite funny. Once he arrived- he wanted to know if I had locked the door to keep that mean ole snake out.

Once Ryan had checked around the perimeter of the house to make sure that the snake was gone, he walked me to my car. At this point he assured me that the snake would have been in the yard regardless of the height of the grass. That snake was just passing through, he told me.

After all this happened I couldn't enjoy my ice cream sundae. It was melted and the fudge was the color of the snake... I could only eat a few more bites... before I had to throw it away.

My afternoon was pretty dramatic. I'm thankful to be alive today.

From memory, I drew a picture of the snake:

Please let me know if you know what type of snake this might be.


Bess said...

To say this made me giggle is an understatement, I freakin laughed out loud at work!! Too much man, too much! Just said a little prayer thanking God you were still with us! WHEW!

Bess said...

PS - Lacey is good PR. She sent me an email directed me to this post! You owe her commission! :)

Lacey said...

Thanks Bess, she does owe me commission! haha

Jess-glad you made it through alive...the shit could have gotten real REAL fast!

Cut that grass Ryan!

Christina said...

I'm am seriously still laughing out loud! I can see you now! So, we had this cool snake man who lived down the road from where I grew up and I want to say he use to teach us a little something like this.....red touches black - scratch him on his back, red/black touches yellow - he'll kill a fellow. I'm SO glad you didn't touch him! I don't know my snakes very well either, and I really don't care what color they are......I'm gettn' the hell out of the way! I agree with Bess - Thank God you're still with us. I agree with the kickback to Lacey too! :)

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